Which Journey are you on?

I have entered a gaunlet on my spiritual journey, and a much anticipated gauntlet, I should add. Radical shifts are taking place in my worldview and my thinking as a young believer. You may laugh at what I'm going to say, as short as it is, but know that it carries heavy implications on who I will be.

I have always thought about the "Christian" Journey in terms of my performance--you know, attaining a certain level-- how good I am, or am not, how much I screw up, pleasing people, etc. I imagine where I'll be in so many years. I define myself in terms of what I do or want to do. This is normal, in fact, it's a worldly way of thinking because this is how America thinks. You're in control of your life, take care of your self, look out for yourself, pamper yourself, consume consume consume. The more you do, the busier you get, the farther you'll go. The best you can hope for is becoming nice people. But I have suddenly realized that this is critically flawed and I can't tolerate this because it will eventuallly destroy a person's heart.

The Christian journey isn't a about a place we arrive at. No. The journey we are on as believers in Jesus is all about who we become--it's about character. The destination is Jesus--and us becoming by grace what Jesus is by nature. And it isn't my character, but rather Jesus' holy and perfect character given to us as we follow Him by faith. I'm on a journey (and it's not just me), and it's all about radical divine change taking place. With every step, I am to become a selfless, humble servant of God and of man. My mission is the mission Jesus gives to his followers--to be passionate about giving up ones life for the good of people, for the rescue and transformation of humanity. Something worth living for, and worth dying for. And get this: the law no longer points out our flaws because Jesus destroyed it (well, more like fulfilled it). Instead, he stands there ready to cheer us on and fuel us for the journey. (being IN Christ, see John 15). Something happens when we embark on this journey. The group of blatant sinners are immeediately and totally transformed into saints, chosen ones, children, friends. Somethign divine has taken place, and now its up to us to respond--there's an amazingly human side (hence, journey). You know what? It's time we do the "being" part of the command "be transformed." Destination "be a good, dutiful, perfect, 'i have no problems,' Christian?? No. Destination: "losing your life for My sake," destination integrity, faith, hope, love, destination freedom, destination transformation. Look inside your heart, soul, and mind. Which journey are you on? Only one of these paths leads a person toward the fulfillment of the greatest commandment. Which journey are you on?

My Dream Semester

I made a decision. For the first time in 17 years, I will not be in school next year. I cannot begin to describe how relieved I am right now. Someone once said, "God only gives you enough time for what He wants you to do." I've struggled this year more than ever with stress, anxiety, doubt, and busyness. I hate that god. I hate it. Busyness is at war against Christians and is winning. Long have I asked God what it was that didn't fit his agenda for me. The more time that past, the more I realized how much of my "doing" life didn't fit his agenda, or least not the agenda Jesus had. But all of that aside, I knew in my heart that I was going down the path of obligation, and it needed to stop. Seminary. It negatively affected my finances, my ministry, my health, and my already weakened relationship with Christ, which then affects everything else. Was it a mistake? No. It was a learning experience, and a good one. I did something because I thought I had to, and not because it was wise and best for me. I have been going to bed this week by 10:00pm each night because of my health, securing at least 8 hours of sleep. I am feeling the best I've felt in a long time. I don't know how I missed it, but my sister shares my health condition, and she told me that a lack of sleep makes it worse. I learned the hard way. I have a million paths laid out before me, which will I choose? I don't know, but I'll take another step forward. Borrowing from Toby's example, I want to become the man worth killing. It won't be the path of least resistance. So what does God want from me? He wants me. He wants my heart. He wants me to become like Jesus. How will this happen? I don't know, but I will be ready. I'm restructuring priorities though, that's for sure. Isn't life amazing?