Something Beautiful

I love moments where I see the picture of my life and I see something beautiful and dangerous wrapped up in one. I know that sounds morbid, narcissistic, and unwonted, but it's not. It's needed. What's beautiful is seeing all the pieces in play and viewing them with hope, and not despair. It's the refusal to play small, and the willingness to dream big. I realize that I have the capacity to influence people. But fear torments me into resignation, and thus removing me from the story altogether. What's my fear? I don't have what it takes. (Play small). But what's the truth? God didn't save me to play small. God didn't save me to live a pseudo-life in this world going to church every week and speaking a foreign language that the rest of the world cannot understand. (That, though, is what playing small tends to look like).

No. God scripted something dangerous into my story. I am able to express my heart and passion in words. I can create something beautiful with my pencil. I have a craving to learn other languages so I can listen to people's hearts. I studied Spanish for two years, and now have an insatiable nagging to finish the job. I have an intense desire to learn. I am a listener. I think deeply. I yearn deeply. I care deeply. I need people in my life. I know people need me. I am burdened for continent of Africa. I am single, and can at any moment pack what little I possess and travel onward. I have a passport. I can make a living out of my knowledge of computers, my skill in sketching architecture, capturing life with my camera, and my interpersonal communication skills, to name a few. But yes, dangerous. Dangerous because all of these things at any moment could be forfeited and wasted by living a life separated from the only source of Life--Giving up one's life, serving humanity, being a blessing instead of constantly asking for a blessing. It's what Jesus lived and taught, because by dying he gave us permission to truly live--and live, not small, but big. After all, Didn't God deliver us from the dark side and unleashed the true Light into our hearts?

And so I ask, "Self, what if your abilities weren't meant to land you a high paying job in comfort and luxury? What if your abilities were a gift from God as a higher calling to be used up to the full in the giving up of your life for your neighbor, helping him become a better person, and inviting others to do the same.

And that is something beautiful--the potential for a life lived for the glory of God--a life fully lived. What if it were really true? What if freedom is the bridge between the potential and the kinetic. What's dangerous in my excuse tonight. What's beautiful is activity of God rescuing a failed life, and releasing him or her into the world to love the world like Him.